I know I have, more often than I'd care to admit. Like last night. I'm the queen of fight picking, it seems.
But when a storm is brewing, have you ever stopped to really think about the why? What's underneath your anger and frustration?
For me, it's almost always fear.
I'm angry because I'm afraid, and I don't like to be afraid.
Not "I'm being hunted by a lion and must run or die" afraid, just unsure, uncomfortable, unhappy.
What happens if I accept and embrace fear? Well, we'll find out. Because, at the end of the day, avoiding fear, conflict and conversations gets me exactly nowhere. The same goes for bringing things up when I'm angry. I've got to quit that.
What kind of world would I live in if I could have an open and honest (and difficult) conversation without fear of retribution, without distress - and without raised voices?
Stay tuned...
10 comments:
good stuff...esp that last bit about having the open honest convos...so important...and fear can cripple or motivate...we will always have it on some level its what we do with it...
Good luck. It's always tricky when you attempt to act 'out of character' but it can only be a move for the good. If the other side is expecting you to get angry, at least you can catch them off guard by being calm.
fear makes me do crazy things. it's a terrible feeling.
I guess it beats running from conflict. FEAR - F Everything And Run. We all have lots to learn about communication.
This one struck home wonderfully!
The other night i blew a gasket after i almost dropped 2 very hot cast iron pans on my self. One person was there to see it, even tho i was not angry at him, anything he said did not help...at least untill i calmed down.
With my crazy eyesight, sometimes i think fear is always nipping at my heels...
I tried to do this at one point. I had to in order to get over writer's block. The result? I have a wide masochistic streak now. And not as much fear, but still some.
I'm a New Yorker...everything is a confrontation.
I want things my way. It isn't fear that drives my anger or moves me toward conflict, it is not getting my way. Now that is embarrassing to admit. However, perhaps it is fear that moves me to want everything my way... Ah, another vicious circle.
I feel you here. I have issues with fear too.
I've been lamenting over that last questions for....Ever!
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